Kal

When I grow up

In When I grow up on September 23, 2008 at 4:06 am


Wow. How do I even begin to write this? Just the mere thought of my childhood makes me zone out in a daze and want to obsessively search 80’s cartoons on You Tube! For a while I thought it was just the 80’s and 90’s. They had to be the coolest decades in history. Now that I have kids I see that the innocense of childhood is nothing short of magical.



I can vividly remember pretending I could walk through my mirror and go to some strange world loaded with vibrant colors, talking cats and singing flowers. I had a huge imagination and I only wish that same perk of character in adulthood. Logic is boring. Ignorance is bliss.

I’m not sure when or where it disappeared. The world physically looks different now. My mom and dad used to be so tall. My big brother wasn’t “that” big. My little sister used to tag along wherever I went. The street lights even had so much meaning back then. When my parent’s football team lost, the street lights meant it was time to come inside. When their team would win, the street lights dimly lit the sky just enough to put a glow on you as you chased your fellow hide and seekers. Those were really the best years of my life.

I had all of those qualities people pay shrinks to give them. I had optimism. I had confidence. I was as pretty in my thrift store sweater as I was in my name brand jeans. If I set out to do something, I COULD do it, and did do it. Boredom could be easily cured with some old fitted sheets and dining room chairs. Seeking attention was as easy as drawing stick figures of mom and dad. Magic existed every Christmas morning. And I really thought that someday, if I thought it through long and hard, I could eventually fly.

It’s so easy to get caught up in being “grown”. You have had a long hard day and are totally exhausted, your kid is screaming at you to get monsters out of his room and your newborn doesn’t want to sleep, she’d rather stare at the wall. But when I watch my son ride his bike….when I see him jumping on the bed….when I wake up and he has managed to sleep in my bed with me AGAIN, I can’t help but smile and remember what it was like.
 
Life can be so beautiful even *I* have a hard time putting it in words.

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